SEASON 13: THE FLUX

Let’s face it, we’ve always rated Chris Chibnall most of the time as a pretty abysmal Doctor Who writer. But we never thought in our wildest dreams it could get this bad.

We watched all sixty of these Flux episodes all the way through. Six. We mean six. It just felt like sixty. The reason we watched them? We’ve seen every minute of Doctor Who and we’re not about to stop now. But that’s absolutely the only reason. We envy everyone who was able to turn it off with a clear conscience. And despite being Doctor Who reviewers, we’re not going to review this Doctor Who.

Because this season is so very dreadful, so horribly, terribly appalling, that it's not actually Doctor Who at all. We’re declaring it non-canon.

Chibnall’s thudding determination to put his prints all over the mythology by giving the Doctor an origin story (the Doctor. An origin story), handled with all the finesse of a charging hippopotamus.

The Doctor’s sadism in torturing a bad guy.

After millennia of angsting about their actions in the Time War, the Doctor’s offhanded wiping out of three races.

An entire series of the Doctor obsessing about recovering her memories only to back away from that at the end for absolutely no reason.

An utter lack of structure and pacing, feebly masked with character cliches and frenetic yet pointless activity.

Anyone who could write all this does not understand Doctor Who at all. Not. At. All. So all that? Gone. Never happened. Not in this universe. Nothing to see here.

Kate Stewart might like this incarnation of the Doctor, but despite Chibnall’s desperate and transparent attempt with this line to convince the ever-dwindling audience, by this time she’s the only one. We can’t wait for Chibnall’s tenure to limp to the end. In fact, we’re already forgetting it. And believe us, we won’t be demanding those memories back.

OUTTAKES

INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH RODE THE SIX HUNDRED

Our constantly recurring thought all the way through this season? How much money had been thrown away and how much effort had been expended by so many people on such a complete pile of trash. It’s actually really sad.