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PARTNERS IN CRIME
Buy this Dr Who DVD: UK 
Buy entire series DVD box set: UK US 
You know what they make soap out of? Fat. Is that why this is so frothy?
Meh. There really isn’t a lot to say about it. It’s not a terrible episode, and it’s not a wonderful one either. Maybe it’s just personal taste: we like our Doctor as dark as our chocolate, so fluff doesn’t do much for us.
A lot of what fails to glue us to the sofa is the seen it all beforeness of it all. Yet again Russell T Davies drags out (what appears to be at the beginning) the evil capitalist. This is not only repetitive but ironic. Why does he think the Beeb’s so willing to fork over for his star casting and whizzy special effects? That’s right: because of the DVDs and the overseas sales and the licensing rights on all the little stuffed Adiposes out there. You know, the stuff that makes (ick!) money. Can’t he give the profit-motive bashing a rest?
What’s worse, this isn’t just the standard template evil capitalist: it’s practically a clone of Invasion Of The Bane, complete with icy queen bitch. We liked it then; that was because we hadn’t already seen it.
As for the new companion, we’re cautiously optimistic. They’ve sliced away all the ranting and shrieking that annoyed us to much in Runaway Bride and given Catherine Tate a much more nuanced character to work with, which she is more than capable of exploiting. It’s certainly a bold new direction in companions, and that’s a good thing all by itself.
As for the romantic elements which have plagued the TARDIS for the last few seasons, it seems as if they’ve set out their stall on that issue: Donna is just a mate. That’ll certainly be a breath of fresh air after the humidity of all the longing looks and stuff. Although contrarily, we’re somewhat bemused by the general opinion out there that she couldn’t be anything else. If Tate were playing her Nan character, we might be able to see it, but otherwise, huh? She’s only three years older than David Tennant. Is it because she’s not twenty, a size zero or Miss Universe, or all three?
Although we’re depressed at the intimation that the companion’s family will yet again be dragged along like toilet paper stuck to a shoe, at least Donna’s family isn’t quite as annoying this time. The kitchen scene with her mother nagging is shot beautifully. As for Bernard Cribbins, some of us loved him (“So relaxed – by far the most professional of any of them” according to one) and the rest of us found the clichédness of his scenes overrode anything else.
As for the aliens, who couldn’t like them? As with the Judoons in last season’s opener Smith And Jones, we love the fact that they’re not evil or anything, just getting on with their lives. It’s a big universe, and at least some of the inhabitants, statistically speaking, have got to be cute and adorable rather than monsters bent on taking over the world.
Of course, that does raise a few awkward questions. Correct us if we’re wrong, but had the Doctor and Donna not interfered, wouldn’t the galactic Supernanny have come, collected millions of unwanted lumps of lard and departed in the biggest win/win situation ever seen? And instead, thanks to the Doctor it all goes wrong? Shades of The Ark, eh? We don’t mind the Doctor being the villain occasionally, but they should at least point it out. A bit of remorse wouldn’t go amiss, either.
As for the rest of it, what else is there to say? It’s competent. The missing each other bits are well done. Sarah Lancashire does a good job: it’s not her fault the part’s so trite. Overall, though, we found it just the teensiest bit boring. As far as we’re concerned, the only moment that really catches fire in the whole piece is when the Doctor warns the nanny to stop what she’s doing: as ever, when David Tennant reels it back it’s a hundred times more effective than any amount of sonic screwdriver brandishing.
It’s often said that a companion’s first episode’s never any good. But this isn’t Donna’s first episode. (Nor is that actually true: Smith And Jones is a total cracker.) Could have been better: as it is, we ain’t bovvered. (Sorry.)
MORAL: Sometimes it’s better to let it lie.
OUTTAKES
THE BELLS, THE BELLS
The call centre bits are hilariously uninformed. Naturally, Russell T Davies would never have soiled his hands with commerce, so he doesn’t know this, but call centre staff don’t drop their phones in the middle of a call for a meeting. Nor would they have trouble selling forty a day of a miracle fat cure that really worked: forty a second’s more likely.
OR NOT TO BEE
The disappearing bee story is true, unfortunately. One theory advanced is that mobile phone radiation is throwing the bees' navigational systems off.
GAS AND AIR
All those oh-so-hilarious gurgling noises reminded us far too much of the Slitheen.
TWO POUNDS OF LARD APPROACH EACH OTHER
There's something wrong with the maths here. The nanny says they have a million customers in Greater London alone, and those customers are each losing a kilo a night through the cat flap. Yet by the time the mothership turns up, she only has ten thousand Adiposes. What happened to all the rest?
NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE
The Close Encounters spaceship is probably meant to be a tribute or something, but to us it just looked as lazy as the rest of it.
WHOLE LOTTA ROSIE
Thrilled to see Rose again? Well, no, actually. She seems about as impossible to keep buried as Jack in Torchwood.
Buy this Dr Who DVD: UK
Buy entire series DVD box set: UK US
Voyage Of The Damned Review
